Hannah Baker's Poems

Hannah's Poems
Hannah Baker's first published poem (Poem #1)
Object Information
Type	Poems
Purpose	For Hannah to write down her thoughts and feelings
Original Owner(s)	Hannah Baker
Current Owner(s)	Olivia Baker
Appearance
First Appearance	"Tape 4, Side B"
Last Appearance	"The Chalk Machine"

   

After Ryan Shaver's pestering, Hannah wrote a poem, and presented it to the Evergreen Poetry Club. Hannah then started to write more and more poems. Afterwards, Ryan took her first poem and published it in his magazine, Lost and Found, all without Hannah's consent. Before Ryan published the poem, Hannah had written multiple poems.

Poem #1

This was the first poem we heard of Hannah's, revealed in "Tape 4, Side B".

Today I am wearing lacy black underwear
for the sole purpose of knowing I am wearing them.
And underneath that?
I am absolutely naked.
And I’ve got skin. Miles and miles of skin;
I’ve got skin to cover all my thoughts like Saran Wrap
that you can see through to what leftovers are inside from the night before.
And despite what you might think, my skin is not rough, nor is it bullet proof.
My skin is soft, and smooth, and easily scarred.
But that doesn’t matter, right?
You don’t care about how soft my skin is.
You just want to hear about what my fingers do in the dark.
But what if all they do is crack open windows
So I can see lightning through the clouds?
What if all they crave is a jungle gym to climb for a taste of fresher air?
What if all they reach for is a notebook to scribble not a hand to hold?
But that’s not the story you want.
You are licking your lips and baring your teeth.
Just once I would like to be the direction someone else is going in.
I don’t need to be the water in the well.
I don’t need to be the well.
But I’d like to not be, the ground anymore.
I’d like to not be the thing people dig their hands in anymore... for something they can own.
...
Some girls know all the lyrics to each other’s songs.
They find harmonies in their laughter.
Their linked elbows echo in tune.
What if I can’t hum on key?
What if my melodies are the ones nobody hears?
Some people can recognize a tree,
A front yard, and know they’ve made it home.
How many circles can I walk in before I give up looking?
How long before I’m lost for good.
It must be possible to swim in the ocean of the one you love without drowning.
It must be possible to swim without becoming water yourself.
But I keep swallowing what I thought was air.
I keep finding stones tied to my feet.

Justin

This poem is about Justin, revealed in "The Chalk Machine".

Hannah's second poem (Justin)

It was the smile that did it, first
The way it seemed so easy for you
to be so happy.
That smile I wish I'd never seen

Poem #3

This poem was revealed in "The Chalk Machine".

You can't see what's going on
Because what's going on is too deep and
too dark for you to see

Everyone's smiling and talking, and happy
and i'm thinking
How the fuck are so you so happy when I'm screaming inside!

I want to leave, but I can't
I'm bound by the will I can never give up
Why am I stopping?

I want to leave but I can't
I'm bound by the will I can never give up

You do what you have to,
to try and survive
I may be ugly, but at least I'm alive

Forbidden Fruit

This poem was revealed in "The Chalk Machine".

Hannah's poem 'Forbidden Fruit'

 
Oh, fruit forbidden
so sour, so sweet
I have been banished from the garden
and I don't think I miss it
and yet i want another bite

Love Letter

They told me that I was meant for the cleaner life
that you would drag me through the mud

They said that you would tread all over me
that they could see right through you.

That you were full of hot air
that I would always be chasing.

Always watching you disappear after sleeker models
that it would be a viscous cycle.

But I knew better. I know about your rough edges
and I have seen your perfect curves

I will fit into whatever spaces you let me
If loving you means getting dirty, bring on the grime

The Intruder (Partial Recover)

This was revealed in "The Little Girl", bold parts of the poem are read by Olivia Baker:

Hannah's poem 'The Intruder'

Here's how it works: you lie on your back on your floor
while the other girls at the sleepover put their hands beneath you
chant light as a feather, stiff as a broad
and up you float: like magic

Here's how it works: you make a tight fist and hold your wrist
so when you let go and the blood rushes in,
it feels like spiders crawling through your fingers

Here's how it works: you stand in a doorway
and press your arm against the frame
so when you step through, the drift up like you're flying

It's easy to find your own wind
It's easy to believe in magic

Here's how it works: you stare at bright pictures
and look at a white wall
and the ? appears in ?

Sometimes the intruder doesn't need to break a window
Sometimes they already have the key

I'm saying that the house is on fire
And all I know how to do is write poems

All I know how to do is arrange flowers on the table
of a burning home

I am pressing against the frame
I am chanting the right words
I am gripping my fists and letting them go
I am doing what I have to to trick my body
Until the rest of me believes it

Clay Jensen (Partial Recover)

This poem was revealed in "The Chalk Machine".

Hannah's poem about Clay (left page)

(??) you're a fan of star wars, and that...
(?) a valid reason for hating zombies...
(?) could write an essay on why zombies...
(?) who does that? Who is that invested in...
(?)
(?) I called you a nerd for making (?) Han Solo
(?) I've seen all of the movie I love Star Wars
I love Star Wars
I love Arcade Fire.
I love the way you talk about science.
I love the way you spoke about the moon.
And I know I am so far from ever being good enough to
be with you
But please know that I see you, and I
(love you but ???) can't bring myself to say it

Poem #7 (Partical Recover)

(...)
Do I put that target on my back again and again?
Or do I face a lifetime of wanting the thing I should not have?